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  THE BITCH ARCHIVES

THE BLACKPOOL GAY DIRECTORY

 

   

16/01/08 - 22/02/08

 

I won't say I am happy to be back after the (extended) holiday I usually take at this time of the year, for I am not. There is little to be happy about.
 
The economy continues to worsen; the high street stores have all turned in disappointing seasonal figures which, with the credit crunch, has put the financial markets in turmoil once again - the money is now going on gold and all the shiny metals, as it always used to in times of crisis - and most of our gold reserves were "given away" by the present government on coming to power in 1997; the housing market is still tottering precariously - will it; won't it? - on the edge of a crash; the NHS is coming under more and more criticism, and seemingly justifiably so; nothing to prevent our education system remaining the butt of Europe has yet been put into place; our transport infrastructure has been studied and found to be not fit for purpose; the cost of energy (petrol, diesel, gas and electricity) has rocketed and continues to do so; taxation is increasing alarmingly, with most local community charges to go up this year by at least £150 per annum; the Northern Rock fiasco remains a mortal wound, now with puppet and master openly arguing over how best to deal with it in a way to lose the least face; and our food prices are soaring faster today than since records began. Rises of up to 25% are already not uncommon - e.g. in our local supermarket: £1 packets of beef & onion slices are now £1.25p, £1 cartons of milk are now £1.16p, and 2 sliced loaves previously for £1.20p are now £1.50p, etc. These are not luxury foods but necessities, and taken over a week the increases make a noticeable difference to a shopping bill.
 
Welcome to Brown's Britain 2008 - the ride of a lifetime! Pepsi Max, eat your heart out!
 
With an increasing number of pensioners today already having to choose between a decent meal or heating their room, I am left to wonder from where they will find all the extra money that is to be demanded of them this year. The rich - poor gap has widened dramatically in the past decade. Poverty has increased notably - with child poverty now spiralling, and so it will not only be the pensioners in trouble: there will be many others too. The massive electricity, gas, food and council tax rises alone may increase a single person's bills by more than £10 per week (so far!), with their income, whether it be earned or government provided, not increasing proportionately, if at all. To Gordon Brown a tenner a week does not necessitate a second of thought, it is a sum that he can easily afford, but to many people it is a tearful amount - one that undoubtedly will force some to consider suicide as they quite simply do not have that extra weekly tenner or so needed in order to survive, and even then with just the minimum of dignity.
 
Welcome to Brown's Britain 2008 - the beginning of the payback years! The bill for New Labour has arrived at the table, and it seems the plastic doesn't work anymore!
 
A report from Policy Exchange, produced in co-operation with task management company Serco and law firm Bevan Brittan LLP, has found Britain's transport infrastructure is "not fit for purpose" and it warns that the cost of congestion is soon likely to exceed the current figure of £20 billion a year. Amongst all the leading industrialised countries, Britain has some of the worst public transport to be found, the most congested roads, and the fewest motorways. Calling for road charging schemes (even more taxation!) the report suggests a six-hour peak time weekday charge of 10p per kilometre on a six-lane motorway, and a charge of 5p per kilometre for cars and light vans and 10p per kilometre for goods vehicles on ALL roads. This, they claim, would raise more than £25 billion per annum.
 
Welcome to Brown's Britain 2008 - with even more smoke, and the mirrors having been cleaned! Rollup! Roll up! The illusions are to go on; you will be mesmerised!
 
If road charging and more taxation sounds like a good idea to you, then consider this: in 2006 our private motorists alone paid out £32 billion in transport-related taxes, with only £8 billion of that money actually being spent on the roads. I say: only when they have spent the other £24 billion of that money on our roads, and it isn't enough, should they come back and ask us for more! What are they doing with such vast sums of our money? What is there to show for it? And while we are at it: why has the report suggested an amount sterling per kilometre for Britain? We travel and measure in miles here, not kilometres. Is it perhaps in order to squeeze that little bit extra out of us when it is converted to miles? Hmm . . . Shades of decimalisation day in 1971 I fear, when a lot of what we earned was rounded down and what we paid out was rounded up.
 
Welcome to Brown's Britain 2008 - the Chinese Year of the Rat, and I am thinking they are not alone in that one! I smell a rat too!
 
Moving on - I can only take so much of the Brown stuff in one go! - but still staying with China: I see 190 of their products had to be recalled last year. The offending items ranged from consumer goods and food to pharmaceuticals, with more than half being the consumer goods - many of them the potentially dangerous toys we entrusted to our children. Mark Kendall, partner and spokesman for City law firm Reynolds Porter Chamberlain, is reported as saying: "We have been warning for years of the risks in uncontrolled out-sourcing to China and other developing countries." He warned: "While lessons will have been learned from the Mattel recall, the problem will not be solved overnight. We expect to see more of the same."
 
To many of us this is déjà vu: we can remember the "Jap Crap" of the fifties and sixties - but just look what Japan has built from all that rubbish we imported in those days. It has progressed to become a world leader in the latest technology, and it now produces quality goods, ones that everybody seems to want to own. In doing this, the Japanese have acquired enormous controls in the western world. Even in the country that invented television the BBC use Sony equipment, and pretty much everything to do with entertainment here and in America will have some link to a Japanese company, their technology, or their money. So one day soon it will be with the Chinese. The only difference is: they are already acquiring a lot of clout, some might say a dangerous amount, in many western countries before coming up with the quality goods. Hard pushed banks are finding their money very attractive in the present economic climate, but how will they feel when the credit crunch has passed?
 
China presents us with unchartered waters. Nostradamus may yet be proved right, with only the date amiss. Uncannily he has been right with many of his predictions, though rarely at the times he predicted - thus discrediting him, but perhaps more than he deserved. He predicted: a yellow race will rule the world, and that could easily be done by economic means; it need not take a real and bloody war, simply a battle of big businesses. Japan has come close to being a contender in this prediction, so promoting this thought before, but when now we consider the vastness of this emerging China we see today, with its massive population and its almost unlimited and untapped resources, it has to be a far greater contender.
 
Thankfully, should it all happen, it is unlikely I shall still be around to see it. It's not that I have anything against the Chinese. No, not at all, it is simply their food I don't like - I really cannot believe that man was ever intended to eat bean sprouts and bamboo shoots! Oh, Yuk! I survived the passing of civilised places such as Williamsons and Lyons - I remember Lyons pea soup was to die for! - and I managed to cope quite well with the Wimpy Bars that succeeded them, but I've never really took to eating like an animal with food dropping everywhere and grease running down my hands in the McDonalds and Burger Kings that followed on after they disappeared, so another change like chasing a bean sprout around a bowl of slimy liquid with chopsticks flying from my hands across the table, I prefer not to consider.

 

The Bitch! 16/01/08.

 

 

 

ANYONE SEEN CITIZEN SMITH LATELY?

Well Darlings,

These days the depth of public gullibility simply amazes me. I find it absolutely astounding. Do people eat stuff today that impairs their brains? Or perhaps those mobile phones really do fry brains, after all. Then I suppose it could even be something to do with the iPod nod, that's getting people worried now. I mean: nobody seems to question anything today. They believe everything they are told and go like lambs to the slaughter. For example: Communities Secretary Hazel Blears suggestion of having so-called "community contracts" which she claims could give the public some form of redress, including financial compensation, should local authorities not come up to scratch has, without question, been warmly welcomed by some people. Gullible people, I say!

No doubt to prevent the vast amount of councils from going broke overnight by the penalties incurred she has already said she would have to limit the cash payments - likely to be paid out as council tax rebates - to only a small amount of serious failings. All the other types of redress she considers - like forcing a public meeting where councillors would have to explain themselves, or having a written explanation from the council - would not be worth the effort of either attending or opening the envelope. They would simply be another platform from which a council could spout all the standard patronising rubbish they already utter with regularity: "We take this problem seriously . . ."

Likening such a system to the refunds passengers may claim when the trains are late, Hazel says: "People rightly expect a good standard of service and redress when things go wrong." Really? And that coming from a government minister! The mention of the trains should have been the clue, o gullible ones!

At the end of the day if it takes X amount of money to run the trains, then X amount of money has to be found to run the trains - and that X amount of money comes from the passengers through fares. By giving those passengers financial redress the cost of the extra staff to work out and pay the refunds has to be found, and that leaves the money refunded now having to be replaced too simply because running the trains costs X, and that amount of money has to be there. Only a fool cannot see that the end result has to be significant price rises in the fares to replace the refunds and to pay for all the extra staff. Yet strangely some people rejoice at the prospect of a small refund. Duh!

So how would taking money out of the local authority coffers every time the council failed to provide an adequate service be any different to the trains? It wouldn't, is the simple answer. It is the only answer. A whole new level of bureaucracy would be needed to handle all the extra work, so that becomes an immediate increase in our council liability, and as the council need every penny of their budget (and usually a whole lot more!) any financial penalties paid out would automatically have to be claimed back by them through even further increases in the council tax, or in local charges such as the extra waste disposal taxes, car parks and residents parking schemes etc. Were it not so, then it is obvious to me that services would become worse and worse - perhaps less and less too! - and the penalties incurred cost us more and more. If that is not a recipe for a disaster, then I don't know what is!

Even were the council to insure against paying the claims the cost of such a scheme would prove phenomenal, and it would still be passed on to the taxpayer. Where could there be any benefit? And to whom? I can only see a con - a costly one that is sadly being lapped up by an increasing number of people. They remind me of lemmings rushing to the cliff's edge, excited because they've been told they can fly. Folks, I don't think obesity is our only problem at the moment. Nanny may have stolen some people's ability to reason.

Moving on: Peter Hain's resignation from the posts of Work and Pensions Secretary and Welsh Secretary was always on the cards, wasn't it? Once the police were involved it had to happen, and we all knew they would be called in when that strange "think tank" was discovered. That, we're told, had no members, did no thinking, and yet had £50,000 of those donations pumped into it. Hmm . . . This all reminds me of the joke about the vicar spouting off in the pulpit about theft - until he remembered just where he had left his bicycle. I hope you don't know the joke - it's slightly naughty!

Pathetically Hain tried to hold on to both his positions, as all the discredited government ministers have in the past ten years, with too many of them succeeding for my liking. I won't attempt to count them now, but the number must be substantial - with three major police investigations being required in just the past couple of years. Honour, and doing "the right thing", has obviously no place in this government. That the man did wrong and broke the rules has never been in any doubt. He failed to declare more than £100,000 of donations - apparently a whole string of them, not just one or two - and claimed that was all due to "an oversight" because he had been so busy.

Bathing in his own self-importance, Peter Hain expected to be forgiven for his misdemeanours. Equally as bad: the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, perhaps running short of people he can trust, rushed to Peter's defence telling us how good he was at his job - as if that should immediately excuse him. Well, many of us are good at our jobs, and we all get busy at times, don't we? However none of us would expect to be forgiven for breaking the law simply because we were busy or good at our job. We know it would not happen. Imagine you or I trying to tell the taxman we had not declared a certain amount of income because we had been too busy, however we were very good workers. It just wouldn't wash would it? And neither should it! Nobody should be above the law.

I expect a long and inconclusive inquiry - at the taxpayers' expense again, of course - which will in the end somehow allow Peter Hain to "clear his name". They all appear to go that way, don't they? It seems that if you want to commit the perfect crime, then become a politician - even if you are found out, you will probably get away with it. You may even be able to get away with murder. "Whassat?" I hear you say.

Across the pond a damning report: "False Pretenses", released by the Center for Public Integrity, suggests US President George W. Bush and his top officials concealed the truth and lied a total of 935 times in their quest to wage war on Iraq. The study claims eight administration officials made at least 935 false statements about Iraq's links to Al-Qaeda and its possession of weapons of mass destruction on 532 separate occasions. Apparently it was the president who made the most false statements - 260 of them. The report notes that, in September 2002, President Bush said on radio: "The Iraqi regime possesses biological and chemical weapons, is rebuilding the facilities to make more and, according to the British government, could launch a biological or chemical attack in as little as 45 minutes after the order is given."

Back in the UK, following an earlier freedom of information request from campaigner Chris Ames that was contested, the Information Tribunal has this week rejected an appeal by the Government and ordered the Foreign Office to release an early draft of the controversial dossier on Iraq's weapons of mass destruction. As the claim that Saddam Hussein could launch a devastating strike within 45 minutes appeared in Tony Blair's foreword to the controversial (sexed-up) dossier subsequently published in September 2002, there is a need to ascertain whether or not the original dossier actually contained this claim.

If it doesn't, could this one day lead to Tony Blair, and maybe George W. Bush too, standing in the dock on trial accused of war crimes? I guess in theory it could, but in practice I think we all know that will never happen. Even were we to learn some awful truth, we know nothing would be done about it. Already the machinery of governments both sides of the Atlantic is in top gear and churning away, just in case.

When it comes to giving the people what they want in a government and its goals - honesty and honour, truth and openness, peace and prosperity, freedoms and an attempt to satisfy the wishes of the people - one sometimes has to wonder why a democracy is said to have an advantage over any other system in achieving it. It obviously doesn't. It is all a matter of luck. If there are none to elect that will actually work for the people, but instead prefer to rule over them, as many do today, disregarding the people's wishes and simply doing what is best for themselves and "the establishment", then there will be times - perhaps like now - when other systems may beat a democracy hands-down.

Politics today, both national and local, is ruled by big money and it attracts a lot of the wrong kind of people, and through these people many democracies, especially those in the western world, have degenerated into providing little better than the way in which we were ruled in Medieval times - although lip service is paid to them, the very last people to really matter are the surfs. In a true and good democracy, they would be the first people to matter.

In a true and good democracy the country would not go to war and kill tens of thousands without first having absolute proof that we were under threat; we would spend far more on our defence and much less on our attack capabilities; we would invest heavily in green technology to overcome our power shortcomings and the need to rely on other nations; we would remove layer after layer of bureaucracy and save billions, much of it there for reasons as stupid as political correctness; we would have equality for all in our health provision, thus ridding ourselves of the post code lottery for life-saving drugs and treatment, and we would remove government intervention thereby allowing the health service to be run by health service (medical) people in each area in accordance with national guidelines that they agree on; we would invest far more in the police, build prisons, impose stiff sentences for all crimes of violence, and remove our law-breakers from society so our streets were safe to walk once again; we would give money to a board of proven good teachers so they could sort out the appalling failures in our education system caused by government intervention; we would have a basic charter to which local councillors would have to adhere or otherwise suffer personal financial loss and/or removal from office - penalising the people with a lot of the secondary local taxation would have to go, the people have a right to expect the supply of utilities and basic services like sanitation and refuse collection without fear, fines or favour; we would remove the costly "refund" cons for poor service (rail, water, electric, gas etc. - they simply don't work and just put prices up) and instead impose a fair salary for those at the top of these companies backed up by generous bonuses which would be forfeited if a tribunal found their services wanting.

These are only a few things on which most people would find some kind of agreement - these are the sort of things that they elect their politicians to work towards, not unnecessary wars, restrictions on our freedoms, a new petty law for every day of the year, trying to find more ways to raise taxes and fleece us, or the overpowering Nanny State that has destroyed  families and communities - so why in a democracy have we not in recent years seen anything like even just one of them?

Come back Citizen Smith, all is forgiven!

"The Bitch!" 25/01/08.

 

(TOP OF PAGE)

 

ACHING BUTTOCKS!

Well Darlings,

 

Would you say your local authority has improved its services tenfold over the past ten years? How about threefold? Do you think there might be any local authority that may have done so? Perhaps just one? Of course not! Such questions promote, if not utter contempt, ridicule and gut-splitting laughter. I doubt there is one authority that can, taking like for like, still even match what it was doing ten years ago!

 

Research by the TaxPayers' Alliance shows that whilst the number of people with a remuneration package of £50,000 or more in the rest of the economy has risen just threefold, the local authorities' annual records show the number of their local government officials receiving packages of £50,000 or more has risen from an estimated 3,341 in 1997-98 to a staggering 30,889 in 2006-07 - and that is nearly tenfold!

 

Incredibly we now have something like 12,600 of our local government staff with remuneration packages of £60,000 or more, so matching or surpassing the amount we pay our MPs. Doesn't something immediately spring into your mind - like why? We are told the average council spent more than £4 million on such staff in 2006/07, with the total bill for those high-earners across the country coming to almost £2 billion - and that is equivalent to £1 of every £11 raised from the council tax we pay.

 

For a parasitic organisation that we have to suffer employing basically in order for us to have our streets swept, our rubbish removed, our roads maintained, and our old and young folk cared for - now there's a laugh! - it is an absolutely ridiculous situation. Who in their right mind pays their servants more than they earn themselves? Nobody! So why should Joe and Jill Public? There will be many local authority areas where for the overwhelming majority of the population £60,000 per annum is not even achievable in their wildest dreams. It is time to get real! It is time to pay some of these people what they are REALLY worth to us!

 

When we look around us and see service after service being cut back or withdrawn, and things like our homes for the elderly being closed down in order to save money, and all this despite our council taxes doubling in the past ten years - where wages have not! - with all kinds of other charges being either introduced or substantially increased, then paying our council officials to do some of the stupid and unnecessary tasks that they undertake today is morally criminal. Just one example from the many I could name, the list is almost endless, and never mind the cost to the planet of all the paper involved in this one: is it right that shop staff etc should have to fill in an A4 form (one for each of them every single working day) to say that they have (say) polished a counter top and swept the floor in order to satisfy a Health & Hygiene Regulation when we have terrified old folk in tears about being turfed out of their care homes?

 

This the Nanny State at its worst! Why does Nanny believe most of these shop workers could not do their job properly without them or that silly piece of paper? What is to stop any of them simply filling in the form yet not doing the work? Absolutely nothing - and there are forms to be completed today for just about everything. How much did we - or do we still - pay the person who thought these crazy schemes through? Or didn't!  I mean: aren't we supposed to be trying to use less paper to save the planet? Well, you really ought to see the amount of paper we get through satisfying just one department: Health & Hygiene. They stand ashamed.

 

I am thinking we really do not need people who think up stupid schemes like this - let us save some money here! At the end of the day it still comes down to the employer being satisfied with the standard of work being provided by the employee, and perhaps rewarding the good staff and retraining or removing the bad staff. The whole Health & Hygiene involvement (intrusion into private businesses?) here is costly, both financially and environmentally, and utterly worthless. So why are we paying for these people to operate this scheme when there are so many more important needs, urgent needs, in the community?

 

The days when an elder (every area had people who could be relied on to stand up for what was right, and to help those less able - we had communities then!) would march into the council offices, bang his fist on the desk, and demand to see a certain official, then give him or her a right rollicking over some council failing may have long passed - but I suspect something similar will have to appear soon. These people whose wages we pay must return to being accountable to us, the people. Local authorities have become far too self-important, too lacking in what they achieve, too lacking in a sense of pride in serving the community perhaps having forgotten their real purpose, and much too costly for us to maintain. When we are having to see service after service cut back to the extent they are being cut back today, whilst levels of local government staff continue to increase along with that preposterous payroll, we have reached the point where the public simply cannot afford them any longer in their present form. Something has to be done. He who pays the piper . . .

 

Talking of who pays the piper: I see that Europe's first old people's home for gay residents has opened in Berlin. Catering for 28 residents in luxury accommodation, the purpose-built four-story home is fully booked. It has been a long time coming, and many, many more are needed - but the people of Berlin are to be congratulated for finally getting there and actually opening one. It is more than we have managed to do in the UK.

 

In 2005 market research revealed the Pink Pound was worth over £70 billion annually here in the UK - and naturally it will be worth a lot more than that today. That is what the UK lesbian and gay community earned in 2005, and that is what we are told they were spending, but more importantly that is the amount after they had paid their income tax. Averaged out, gay people's earnings that year outstripped straight salaries by up to £10,000 a year, so their individual tax burdens were proportionately that much greater too - and with very few clawbacks as most gay people don't claim such things as child allowance or use nursery schools etc, although they will have paid more than most towards them.

 

Without counting all the TG, TS and TV people who often prefer to be in gay surroundings, between 8% - 10% of the population may be classed as either gay or lesbian. Up to 10% of the population who pay proportionately higher taxes throughout their lifetimes - and yet nothing specific is ever provided for them in their old age. In their last years, should they find themselves in a home for the elderly, dribbling in the corner of some communal room often too many of them are unable to - or are too frightened to! - reminisce or communicate on the same level as all the others there, those whose forever related stories will be of a lifestyle almost totally alien to them. Considering how much they will have contributed to the state, how can this be fair? They should be with like-minded people.

 

The way in which the UK cares for its elderly in general today is quite disgusting, and it lags far behind many, if not most, other developed countries - yet we owe these people so much. Without them none of us would be here. Everything we have today is because of them - they fought, they toiled, they paid their taxes, and they raised us, all in far harder times. We ignore them at our peril, for tomorrow it could be any one of us dribbling in that lonely corner.

 

It is time this country threw out its Nanny State, stopped wasting all those countless billions of pounds on utter stupidities, and concentrated on getting its priorities right. It is the people who should matter the most - everyone - not just the army of fat-assed bureaucrats with the matching fat salaries sitting in all those plush offices trying to think up even more ways to fleece us at our expense!
 
We should be paying these people exactly what they are worth to us - their true employer - and whilst we still have things like the homeless on our filthy streets with dangerous footpaths and stinking blocked drains, the sick being left unattended more and more as services are withdrawn, and our infirm and frail elderly people losing their rest homes, to name just a few failings, then these people aren't worth a lot.

 

It is as simple as that!

 

If you think I may have gone over the top with my criticisms, then consider this one example: Fylde council say in order to save money they will have to close the swimming baths at Kirkham and at St Annes along with Lowther Pavilion and Fairhaven Lake - all of them much needed facilities, especially in this "we must keep ourselves fit and healthy" age. At the same time they propose to build themselves a new town hall for their own fat-asses, apparently a palace of a place so we're told, and at a cost of some £5 million. Do these people truly understand who and what they are, their purpose, or what their goals should be? I think not!

 

There will be people from many areas who will have countless similar horror stories to tell today, because so many local authorities have completely lost the plot. The electorate have become little more than the golden geese which lay the golden nest eggs for them.

 

Well I don't know about you, but I for one find my buttocks are aching!

 

"The Bitch!" 1/02/08.

 

 


It's life, Jim - but not as we know it . . .

 

Well Darlings,

 

Once upon a time if we wanted to frighten ourselves we would go to the cinema to see the latest offering from the Hammer House of Horror - today we only have to think of the Health & Safety Executioner - sorry, Executive - to get the same effect. Hardly a week goes by without something or another that we have enjoyed doing for ages, sometimes even for centuries with minimal and considered to be quite acceptable risks, being banned and making the news headlines. From Remembrance Day marches to kids playing conkers nothing has been spared, until now everything we do has to be "risk assessed" whether it is in our work or in our leisure activities and pastimes.

 

Of course some Health & Safety Regulations are needed, and will always be needed, especially in many of our workplaces. However when new regulation after new regulation is being produced like it is today, as if on some fast moving production line, and these regulations have an adverse affect on the quality of people's lives, has not the Health & Safety Executive overstepped its mark to the point of putting its motivation into question? So many of their rulings today do not actually ban events from happening as to permit them often subject to some unacceptable changes and an enormous insurance policy being bought - thus actively promoting the opportunist "claim for everything" culture. Is there something we are not being told here?

 

The whole Health & Safety concept works on the erroneous assumption that everybody is a complete and utter idiot, apart from their officers who alone are sensible and know everything. That the general public should be perfectly able to assess any everyday situation or event and, understanding all the risks involved by using some common sense, be able to decide on whether or not to partake in it must not be considered, for that would immediately put into jeopardy many lucrative local authority jobs. The result of such an ill-conceived policy is that, far from making the world a much safer place, it has increasingly become a more dangerous place - and certainly a more expensive one to live in. Training to government standards (some will tell you often carried out by the clueless) is needed for just about everything, and so all too often is that prohibitive insurance.

 

Today the percentage of kids who fall out of a tree they were climbing and break a few bones will be exactly the same as it has always been. The only difference is that today there will always be some person who can be sued for owning the tree. Following any such incident Health & Safety might easily be down on that person like a ton of bricks. It's the kind of thing they love doing. Had the owner undertaken some government training to assess all the risks of owning a tree, and taken out the necessary insurance to cover those risks? Had they done everything possible to draw attention to the risks, and put up notices, and perhaps barricaded off the tree? The accident which was once just a childhood part of life, of growing up, has now become a money-making exercise providing profits for companies and jobs for people - and that is costing us dearly in both financial and social terms.

 

Throughout all history kids have climbed trees, swam in rivers, skated on icy ponds and tobogganed down perilous snowy slopes - and I would suggest that is what healthy kids should be doing. Yes, there will undoubtedly be the occasional accident - but that is life and what happens to those who live it to enjoy it, rather than suffer it. I believe kids are still far safer doing things like this than hanging around on street corners, getting drunk or drugged-up, and perhaps being stabbed or shot. Even those that stay home today and risk becoming lard-asses surfing the internet, visiting chatrooms and strange websites (like the "help you to commit suicide" ones recently in the news), are more at risk of harm than those exploring their environment to the full, and that includes swinging from tall trees, and playing conkers with neither visors nor an emergency medical crew standing alongside them.

 

There is a wonderful world out there, and not only just for kids. The real world (as opposed to the reality world that is constantly shoved upon us) is full of of fun, excitement, opportunities and adventure for anyone who wants it - so why do we insist on living in such a cocooned and ugly one? Only because we are being forced into it by the Nanny State. But the trouble with Nanny is: she is both deaf and blind, and considering many of her decisions by now her sanity must be in question too. Unhearing of our screams and unseeing of our pain, she has destroyed whole communities, completely broken up the family unit as we once knew it, and set neighbour upon neighbour. Her tools? Local government officials under the guise of Health, Safety, Hygiene, and Political Correctness - to name only the most offensive and destructive ones.

 

In the beginning, by citing an extreme minority of cases, the Nanny State managed to convince the vast majority of people that everybody out there was a potential threat to them and they needed protecting. They might be a mugger, a villain, or a paedophile - and even our grandfathers were not to be trusted with their grandchildren as they could be perverts. We should have heard the alarm bells ringing then, but we did not, and so we lost something irreplaceable and of priceless value - trust. Without it there can be no community spirit, and there can be no family unit in the sense that it had survived throughout all history. But Nanny convinced us it was necessary to see the world in these terms and to adapt. Being tough on crime, Nanny told us she was only looking after our safety by passing countless laws that restricted our freedoms. We would all be that much safer for them.

 

Really? Well we know now that these people were not in fact all muggers, villains, or paedophiles - most of them were pretty decent folk like ourselves, especially the grandfathers, and any threat to us was likely to have been quite minimal and acceptable to most. However in fooling us with that fearful illusion of danger and convincing us to change the way in which we related to our communities, and even to our own families, Nanny was responsible for actually producing an environment in which such undesirable people, where once they could not, were easily able to proliferate. And proliferate they did. The result is the society we live in today. Nanny has created a monster of a world where the internet is a minefield of threats to children from sexual perverts and nutcases of every description, neighbour has become suspicious of neighbour, and more than half of the population are frightened to go out for fear of the young hooligans that freely roam our streets and housing estates armed to the teeth. In recent weeks I have, in various television documentaries, heard some of these hooligans refer to their gangs as their family, and their homes as the places where they have to stay - and that is a tragedy. Thanks, Nanny!

 

Not satisfied with making a complete cockup of keeping us safe and maintaining law and order, local authorities are now out to convince us that everything we do is dangerous and we need the local Health & Safety team to rule on whether or not we may do it. Never mind that people have quite safely for centuries played conkers, tossed pancakes in races, rolled cheeses down hills, held parades and had marches, thrown sweets into crowds, fought with wooden swords and used pop guns which flick out a flag saying "Bang!" in pantomimes, danced on wooden floors, enjoyed sauce on top of ice cream cornets, eaten bags of peanuts (the clue is in the word!) without the warning: “May contain nuts”, and all the other thousands of things they savour doing, they must now seek the guidance of the Health & Safety "experts" before considering undertaking any of them, and be prepared to take out all the appropriate and expensive insurance policies. The extent to which Health & Safety interferes in the way we live our lives today appears to know no bounds. But are we any the better for it? I would say we are most definitely not, however that question does not enter my mind as readily as: do any of us still have a life worth living?

 

I first used this about four years ago and it now resides in The Profound Bitch on the AstaBGay website, so apologies for repeating it here word for word, but it is appropriate: "When boys climbed tall trees, swam in rivers and went rafting on bits of wood, they learned more about themselves than anyone could ever hope to teach them."

 

Long in the tooth now, I can look back on my life and all the things I used to do as a youngster and be thankful. Without the Nanny State I had a wonderful childhood shared with close friends, and backed up by a strict but loving and trusting family. As boys we would go out all day and do our own thing without a care in the world - and in doing so we learned how to cope with all eventualities. Just some of the things we would do included climbing trees to see who could get the highest, swimming in rivers and making rafts from wooden road signs (naughty!), going on long bicycle rides (often 20 miles to the coast to jump in the waves, or 10 miles to watch the motorcycle scrambling), scrumping a few apples or plums from an orchard if we were hungry (naughty again, but kids will be kids!) happily accepting that if we were caught we might get a thick ear, skating on a nearby icy pond - with all of us having the aptitude to know when it was unsafe, and tobogganing down a steep hill in the snow where the River Itchen at the bottom only added to the thrill.

 

Accidents? We suffered none of note, and that was not exceptional. Only once or twice a year would we perhaps read of some unfortunate kid somewhere in the country drowning, or breaking a few bones by falling from a tree. Threats? Mostly we had to invent them. Paedophiles? We met them, of course - with no internet then it was usually in the cinemas - but we came with common sense in those days. We knew how to deal with them, and laugh about it. They were no big deal. When you can enjoy so much freedom allowing you to learn so much about yourself and the real world, then very little becomes a big deal in the bad sense. It is only when you are plagued with too many stupid laws and restrictions, and have learned nothing, that things can get out of hand and become a big deal. My own children grew up enjoying a similar lifestyle, full of freedoms and learning. It was only later, when Nanny appeared on the scene to tell people how they must bring up their kids, that things began to go downhill.

 

Love, instinct, and trust became tempered by rules that had to be followed. To allow kids the freedom to do everything that we did was deemed wrong - it was neglectful, and could see parents being objurgated - kids needed wrapping in cotton wool and protecting from all the evils of the world - even their grandparents it seemed! Every kids' bumped head or grazed knee became an issue to be investigated, and any kind of physical punishment, like that which followed if the orchard owner caught us scrumping or the local bobby discovered us smoking, was out of the question. Such became a criminal offence and would have the person up in court. And when all this new thinking went wrong, producing kids that rebelled, turned on their parents, and took to crime in increasing numbers, the authorities blamed it not on their own mistakes but on "the latch-key" age and the lack of parental supervision.

 

It was nothing of the sort! The horrific world we live in today with a kid being shot or knifed to death every week, and dozens more being maimed along with the grown-ups being beaten to death as unruly gangs roam free, is purely the result of government interference that changed the way in which families and communities operated. Some people in authority were unable to distinguish between love and hate. The orchard owner who chased us with a stick, the bobby who slapped our heads, the schoolmaster who administered six of the best, and even the prefects that coshed us regularly with a slipper, didn't hate us, and they certainly weren't abusing us. We, on the receiving end, never saw it that way, and should we have ever suffered some real abuse, then these would be have been the very people we would have run to and told - simply because in the way things worked then, we knew they really cared about us.

 

It is a soppy word to use these days, but there was a love in a community. The community was very much like an enormous family. One where everybody was responsible for everyone else and whether or not you particularly liked someone, or even knew them well, you were there for them. No kid suffered or "went wrong" simply because their parents couldn't be there for them when they came home from school, there was a whole community to look after them - we all belonged to each other.

 

Those younger days of mine, even in far harder times, were halcyon days, and that makes it all the more surprising why we have traded them in for this cotton wool Nanny State that we suffer today. A Nanny State where, without all the freedoms we enjoyed, kids can grow up ignorant of what life really has to offer with far too many of them not even knowing a proper family life or a sense of community spirit, but only a world filled with restrictions. They are pushed through an inadequate education system that is not geared up to replace all the life-learning skills of which they have been robbed, nor is capable of preparing them for the world they are to enter, and so worthless they land up observing only the law of the knife and the gun, adopting a street gang as their family. This is not every child, of course - but it is far too many of them, and the number is increasing.

 

Nanny, you have created Hell - Beelzebub is proud of you!

 

You will all have heard of the restrictions on kids playing conkers by now, but here are just a few more Health & Safety horrors, out of hundreds, you may be unaware of, some of which are destined to destroy the last hope of a community spirit returning and a way of life that once worked well: chocolate, or any other sauce and topping, should be served separately in a container and not poured on top of an ice cream cone where it might drop to the ground and cause someone to slip. A popular centuries old community race where children tossed pancakes as they ran down the cobbled street can no longer be held because of health and safety rules. Countless similar community events have been lost already because of Health & Safety Rules and the prohibitive insurance costs. Hanging baskets should be accompanied by warnings and hard hats worn if people are able to walk beneath them. Jelly and trifle should not be on the menu for children's parties as some might fall to the floor and cause an accident. The scripts for village or community hall pantomimes need to comply with all the Health & Safety rules - this recently leading to the police having to register two plastic cutlasses, six wooden swords, and a toy gun that pops out a flag saying "Bang", and the battles on Hook's galleon being supervised by a professional fight coordinator. British border guards in Calais have been banned from using X-rays to search for illegal immigrants in lorries - because there is a Health & Safety risk they need to obtain the stowaways' written permission before they can use such equipment on them. Health & Safety staff recently refused to take a 98-year-old woman home from a hospital as the four-inch doorstep at her home was considered dangerous – to them, not to the woman. Dance floors in Community Halls, often used not only by the dancing elderly for exercise but also for wedding receptions and party events, are to be carpeted over because Health & Safety consider people could slip on the wooden floors. This action will put the future of community halls in jeopardy as they immediately become un-bookable for so many of the much needed money-providing events that support them.

 

Is it any wonder we never see those people wearing: "The End Of The World Is Nigh" boards anymore? There's not a lot left worth worrying about, is there?

 

"It's life, Jim - but not as we know it . . ."

 

"The Bitch!" 9/02/08.

 

 

An Englishman's Home . . .

 

Well Darlings,

It seems that what the police cannot manage to do for a reasonable wage plus a pension and all the perks, the public may soon be expected to do for nothing. We're told civilian volunteers could yet be asked to patrol the streets of their crime-ridden estates for themselves, keep a watch on the activities of suspects (most likely to be the dangerous gangs of teenage hoodlums - that'll be fun! Where does Health & Safety stand on this one?), and even go so far as to check the tax discs on their friends' and neighbours' parked cars.

There is never a dull moment with New Labour, is there? We have already been conned into sorting out our own refuse - with all the prospects of paying for the service twice fast looming on the horizon too! - and now whilst we will still be paying for our streets to be patrolled by the police, they actually want us to get out there and do the job for ourselves. It puts a whole new meaning to: "the land of the free", doesn't it?

No! No, don't! Please don't! After reading that I had to start on my medicine early. I'm quite giggly now - something to do with the lack of tonic, I suspect. A nation of alcoholics? I'm not surprised, are you? We shall just have to have a quick joke here to take our minds off all this stupidity. Question: What do the Poles do in Poland? Answer: Hold up the telephone wires. Question: What do the Poles do in England? Answer: Hold up the housing queues. No, no - it's not racial - it's perfectly alright. Really, it is. Michal Garapich, a social anthropologist at Roehampton University wants the British people to make jokes about the Polish people in order to help them to blend into UK society. I am only doing my bit for them.

Michal, a Pole himself, has told the Polish media that his countrymen needed to lighten up - that they were far too sensitive. An obviously important man, he reckons how the Polish people react to being the butt of English humour would be the real test as to whether or not they were actually integrating in Britain. He says: "If the Poles can learn anything from the British, it's not to take themselves too seriously." Really? Well, I am sure we are only too happy to oblige the man, aren't we? Serious? No, of course we're not!

Thankfully I was not born a Catholic otherwise that might have been a Hail Mary at least a dozen times and . . .

I see Ken Jones, the president of the Association of Chief Police Officers, tells us the country urgently needs to wake up to the epidemic of binge-drinking among teenagers and the misery it causes. Citing police data which shows that up to 50% of the kids are getting it from their parents (the alcohol, I believe. At least, I hope so!) he has rebuked both them and the drinks industry. "Why is it we have got ourselves into a position where lager is being sold cheaper than water? Why is it we have got huge entertainment and drinks companies marketing alcohol to children?" he questioned.

Er, pardon me, but I think the country woke up to all this a very long time ago - at least those still alive and able to; those who had not yet been slain by the drunken young hooligans that terrorise our streets. But it is nice to see the police are, at last, beginning to acknowledge the true scale of the problem, isn't it? Now all we have to do is to convince the government. They, apparently, are looking to make extensive cuts in police manpower - whilst we are all screaming that we do not have enough police now to maintain law and order. Isn't the very fact they need us to patrol our own streets enough evidence of this? I know our standard of education has plummeted dramatically these past ten years, but in government circles too? I think I need another sip - and to Hell with the tonic!

Do you know, I am beginning to wonder if some government snoop has been in here, actually within the Royal Mews, and taken my tonic away for testing? I mean: it was only last October that under pressure Gordon Brown was forced to admit somehow we had arrived at the State having 266 powers they could use to enter our homes and premises without permission. He promised then to crack down on such laws that infringed our privacy - however obviously not before another 13 powers became law, which are only now currently making their way through Parliament. I wonder if I should offer them their own set of keys? It might save having to have a new front door fitted, mightn't it? Have you seen those things they bash them in with?

In the best New Labour tradition of: "an Englishman's home is a Whitehall thoroughfare" a new quango, the Homes and Communities Agency, has been set up to enter and survey any home without the owner's permission to assist in the compulsory purchase of it. These State Officials will also be able to break into our cars should they suspect we are evading our road taxes - it must be something to do with the education thing again, I guess they simply cannot read the tax discs in the cars' windows! - and if we are unwilling or unable to pay those penalising new refuse bin taxes and fines, they will soon be able to bring the bailiffs inside as well. Hmm . . . I must remember to leave a couple of teabags and a few biscuits out for them, just in case. Well, you never know - they might treat me more favourably! Though I do hope they remember to turn off the lights when they leave, electric is so expensive these days, isn't it?

Never mind! The government tell us we shall be staying at the forefront of space technology, and we may even be launching our own manned missions. That will be dependent on the British National Space Centre, which co-ordinates the UK's civil space activities. They are to consider the costs and benefits of manned missions against the existing strengths the UK has in robotic exploration - like, I suppose they mean, the British Beagle 2 that went missing as it landed on Christmas Day 2003. Ah, if only they hadn't skimped on the batteries. They should have known: you can never buy a battery on Christmas Day, not even on Mars!

Ooh, I say! This gin is rather potent. Does it show? Soldiering on as I must: I think it will be an excellent idea for us to send someone into space - especially if we are allowed to name the person. I nominate Gordon Brown. Can we send lots of people? I nominate the whole government - send them to Mars. They should be happy enough there. After all, it is the Red Planet.

Labouring on: the government's own figures published in the House of Commons library last week show that more than 2.2 million British children are currently growing up in households which are dependent on state benefits. That is one-in-five of all children, with the problem being much worse in some inner-city areas. You know, those places where we have to suffer a lot of that drunken behaviour and the kids go around in stupefied gangs killing one another, and sometimes us too. I guess when they are not out mugging for the money to buy their drink - the parents are only acquiring it for the youngsters - it will be us, the taxpayers, who are really paying for it and all the misery we have to suffer. Who said the British spirit had gone? It is still there - only now most of it is in the gutter.

Now, back in my old stamping ground Chief Inspector Dicks (I love it!), speaking on crime, has been reported as saying: "Nationally Swindon is one of the safest places to live. Thankfully knife crime in Swindon is a rare event and nowhere near as common as in larger areas." And then somebody kindly worked out the knife crime figures for us. Based purely on the crimes that the police know about, possibly about half of all those committed, a person faces being stabbed in Swindon every two and a half days.

I guess whoever it is must be getting a bit peeved by now! Sorry! It's just the medicine kicking in.

In this "one of the safest places to live" in Britain we find that violent crime has risen by 16% in the past two years alone. The police suggest robbery was the motive for one third of the attacks, with another 31% being put down to "disorder". The remainder is anybody's guess, but with a young father, Carl James of Park South, being horrifically stabbed to death and more than 1,930 other victims facing violence (143 with knives, and 1 with a samurai sword) in this "safe" town last year, we can only wonder what the odds are of a person's safety in any town not so safe as this one.

Where the police have failed, is the government really expecting volunteers from the general public to make a difference? I suspect the only difference we may see is far more corpses on our streets. I nominate the Home Office's adviser on policing, Sir Ronnie Flanagan, for the "Idiot of the Year Award". It is he who has said it is not necessary for us to have so many police officers, suggesting that many of their jobs could be carried out by civilians instead. Yeah, right! But who is to be employed to carry out all those carrying out these tasks - in their body bags?

"Land of Soaps All Gory . . ." Sorry, you'll just have to sing amongst yourselves until next week - it's all too much for me. I'm off to find another bottle, if those government snoops have left me one!

"The Bitch!" 14/02/08.

 

 

Between a Rock and a Hard Place . . .

 

Well Darlings,

After months of Brown / Darling dithering, the decision finally reached by our Labour government to nationalise Northern Rock appears to have raised more questions than it has answered. Using our money, the taxpayers' money, firstly the government lent this bank billions of pounds - £25 billion initially, and then secretly a lot more to some unknown amount in excess of some £50 billion - backed it and fully guaranteed its liquidity, and then months later - after the bids from all the interested parties has probably revealed the true worth (worthlessness?) of the bank - it has been forced to nationalise it in the sheer desperation and hope that some of our money may yet be recoverable at a future date.

But this fiasco has not ended with the nationalisation. It appears that nobody in government, least of all it seems Alistair Darling or Gordon Brown, knows exactly what the country now owns - such is their expertise. Seemingly all the juicy morsels, the mortgage debts with the least risks attached to them, do not belong to us - they belong to Granite, the offshore trust to which Northern Rock sold its most profitable mortgages. Talk about being between a rock and a hard place! We may yet find we have been left holding just a mere £50 billion's worth (or less) of some very dodgy mortgages - the 125% of value deals (and that's before the housing slump started!) and the 100% accounts of those with CCJs who have a proven record of not honouring their debts. We are not allowed to know the truth because the government has insisted on secrecy, but should this be the case it might be only if every single one of these accounts were to be successfully paid off would we get back in a reasonable time anything like what this exercise has already cost us - and I believe we stand more chance of meeting a Martian than for that to happen!

As a taxpayer are you not, like me, wondering why we are bailing out a business like this at all - especially one that was obviously poorly run to get into such a disastrous position in the first place? There is no case here, like when public money has sometimes been used in the past to shore up the likes of the motor vehicle industry, where tens of thousands of people in an area would suddenly become unemployed were assistance not given. So why is the government interested at all? Only to try to save the face of Gordon Brown and preserve the illusion of a healthy economy.

All this talk about it is not the bank's fault and that their troubles were instigated by the American housing market is pure rubbish. It is their fault. No other bank in the world has suffered a run on it because of these problems in America. It seems no other bank has proportionately taken on so many risks, at least not without first making some provisions for them not to perform as expected. This is simply a case of extreme bad management. Some banks, sensible ones like Lloyds, have hardly been affected at all - and they live in the very same money market.

In the present economic climate, with a record number of businesses going under, there will probably be many reading this who could still be trading today had the government equally backed them in their hour of need. The banks have fleeced us for years under Gordon Brown's "live on credit" and "pay all the extra taxes on credit" time at the Treasury. They have made unprecedented profits out of us for their shareholders - and in all those years of fat I do not once recall any bank or shareholder actually giving me or you any of their money. So why should we be forced to give them ours now?

Stocks and Shares can go up, or they can go down. Investing in them is always a gamble. Those who risk their money in such a way searching for a profit must be prepared to take a loss if it all goes terribly wrong. I am not a gambling person, but if the government were as eager to back any bet that I placed in the hope of making a fast buck, then I certainly would be. This bank should have been left to go under, with only some protection to those who banked with it given by a similar kind of guarantee for the banking industry as ABTA is for the holiday trade. Companies that make billions of pounds in profit out of us should be forced to make their own provisions for a rainy day. They should not come running, cap in hand, to me and you when they make a serious cockup!

As if all this were not bad enough for this country and our economy, I believe the worst may yet be to come. Before Christmas the alarm bells were already ringing: as a nation we owed more on our credit cards than the worth of our country's gross domestic product. Since then, what with Christmas, that amount of money owing has dramatically escalated even further, and the January figures suggest it is continuing to grow unabated. As we go into some very hard times ahead of us, times of spiralling taxation, with gas, electricity, and now we hear water charges too rising in double percentage figures, along with council tax hikes and food prices increasing faster than since records began, there will be many people who will be unable to find the money they need to pay their current bills, let alone pay anything off all the debts they already owe. A crisis looms.

Many banks may yet find a lot of their assets, the money owed to them on paper, will never be repaid because, quite simply, it cannot be repaid - the debtor has not the resources to do it. The difference here is, unlike with a mortgage, there will often be no property to seize in the hope of reclaiming a part of the debt - something like a family foreign holiday taken, a fantastic Christmas, or a wedding worth thousands of pounds cannot be repossessed - and, with so much in people's homes these days on credit agreements of one kind or another, there may be little left for the bailiffs. There are only two choices at this stage: consolidating loans - so further exasperating the problem by creating even more financial assets that may not in fact exist in reality, or writing off some of the debts - and once that begins to happen then there is always the risk that everybody will default and want theirs written off too.

For more than ten years now the fat cats have presided over our banks and financial institutions hysterically trading amongst themselves in a far too easy credit market with figures typed on pieces of paper and computer screens, only recently realising that many of these assets are probably worthless. Just as with the game of pass the parcel, everyone is now nervous for they know there is a big forfeit to be paid, and possibly soon. Who will be holding the parcel when the music stops? God forbid it should be the British banks! With Gordon Brown's only answer to everything being another increase in stealth taxation, the £3,500 that Northern Rock will have cost each and every one of us taxpayers could soon seem like peanuts if we are to rescue every financial institution that gets into trouble!

Is it any wonder that even after all the vociferous complaints from our senior armed forces personnel about the severe lack of equipment for our troops in the front line, and after learning that some of our military aircraft were not fit for purpose and in danger of falling out of the sky, and never forgetting that lambasting a coroner has recently seen fit to give the government for the unnecessary deaths of those poor soldiers, and others like them, the Treasury is still looking to make even further cuts in the defence budget this year? Yes, unbelievable I know, but they want to make even more cuts - and on a defence budget that was never reinstated to a wartime level.

To Hell with the armed forces and all their petty needs; to Hell with Iraq and all that deceit the finally released dossier has shown; to Hell with the police, their numbers and their pathetic pay rise; to Hell with the unprecedented rises in violent crimes; to Hell with the health, transport and education disasters; to Hell with the election promises, especially that one about a referendum; to Hell with the plebs and all their whinging about the record breaking taxation, unequalled price rises, and the penalising laws that take away their freedoms; and to Hell with everything and everybody of no importance really - the sole purpose of this government now in what must be seen as its agonising and lengthy dying years is to hang on and save face for Gordon Brown amongst his peers, and to preserve for history the illusion that he was a good Chancellor, no matter what the cost!

Hmm . . . With the country unwilling or unable to satisfy its moral commitments, already more than £40 billion in debt (and fast rising), and with up and coming countries like China sitting on a surplus of hundreds of billions in Western currencies just wondering what to buy with it, that cost might yet be substantial. Whichever way you choose to see your GB - as Great Britain or as Gordon Brown - things may never quite be the same again.

Pandering to the land of the bamboo shoot doesn't bear thinking about!

"The Bitch!" 22/02/08.

 

 

 

 
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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