ARCHIVES OF THE BITCH.

Well Darlings,

We certainly had it busy here in Blackpool last weekend. Graham Curry, Blackpool ambulance station manager, has revealed that extra staff and vehicles were called in from Preston, Broughton and Blackburn to help our crews cope with the biggest demand they had seen since New Year's Eve. At one stage, we're told, the ambulance service was so overstretched that there were 41 emergency calls stacked up and waiting for attention. Some of the call-outs were attributed to drunken fans behaviour after England's first World Cup match, but apparently a lot of the call-outs were simply thought to be to people collapsing through the heat.

Now whilst we have enjoyed some really lovely weather, I would not say it has been excessively hot - we have all experienced much hotter days. No, we have merely had some really good summery days where, when it get likes that, people have naturally headed for the coast. At the coast, whilst some will lap up the sun, many of the sporty types will seek out the big screen bars in order to watch the sport and later they will either celebrate a victory or drown their sorrows. It's not an unusual occurrence. So I find it quite a failing that a coastal resort like Blackpool can find itself hard-pushed to cope with the "to be expected", and I dread to think what those poor people with emergencies were going through whilst waiting for the backlog of 41 cases to be cleared, or assessed for order of importance. God help us should England win the World Cup on a hot day!

The whole point of emergency services is to cope with emergencies. Something tells me there have been far too many cut-backs to some of our essential services. Should we be blessed with a blazing hot summer this year, or come to that any year that coincides with some major sporting event, will we be expected to accept this kind of shortfall on a daily basis? And what happens should Preston and Blackburn have their own problems to deal with when we urgently need them to bail us out? What then - an even larger backlog of cases all stacked up and waiting?

Of course Blackpool wasn't alone in being caught with her knickers down - there were many places throughout the country where there were similar shortfalls, and alarmingly long waits for assistance. Too many places have been cut-back too far. Our emergency services, whether they be police, fire, ambulance or coastguard, are essential to our quality of life, and all too often to actually sustaining our lives. They need to be adequate at all times - and to hell with the man with the cheque book!

To hell too with the idea of double taxing our rubbish - another tax on top of a tax that this government would love to impose! Can you imagine the cost of a system where our refuse collectors would have to stop and weigh each bin or bag of rubbish - and then try to find out who it actually belonged to? Imagine an empty street on collection day, devoid of black bags, apart from outside the house of the poor old granny who lives all alone at the end of the road where forty bags of rubbish are piled high, or where her little bag of rubbish at the bottom of her council bin has been buried under a ton of other people's rubbish that is spilling out everywhere. Today you may imagine it - but with this tax tomorrow you will experience it. Like we already pay for our sewerage to be dealt with, we already pay for our rubbish to be removed. We should not have to pay twice! A second tax will only encourage people to dispose of their waste illegally. If we let them get away with this one then the next second tax could quite easily be on our sewerage - and just how many jobbies people do! Won't granny get a lot of visitors then!

A new study of UK and US companies with more than 1,000 employees suggests that about a third of the companies hire employees to read and analyse the outbound e-mails of workers who typically have no idea their correspondence is being monitored. The figures rise to 38 percent in the UK and 44 percent in the US when it comes to larger companies with over 20,000 employees.

Gary Steele, chief executive of Cupertino, California-based Proofpoint Inc., which along with Forrester Research conducted the study tells us: "The top concern was protecting the financial privacy and identity of customers followed by compliance issues and a bid to prevent confidential leaks." Really? So how do they cope with these employees divulging this kind of information outside of work - at home, down the pub, or to friends they meet who may easily work for competitors? That has yet to be revealed - but you can bet your life it is covered.

A bucket whether it has one hole or many will never hold a full bucket of water. There is little point in plugging one hole, unless you are going to plug all the holes. We live in an age of snooping; of Big Brother who ferrets around until he knows everything about us from what we put out in our rubbish to what brand of cornflakes we buy. It's a frightening age where spying on people has become a multi-billion pound industry, and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. When we trust nobody, then nobody will be trustworthy and society will suffer.

Big Brother has his place. CCTV cameras in our towns and cities to protect the public and to deter crime are welcomed - but recent evidence, and public stories, reveal that this reason why we accepted this kind of spying on us is being abused on a large scale. The cameras are being turned into being merely money-making accessories for local governments in their quest to relieve the motorist of the last pound in his or her pocket. Fixed penalties are being issued for minor motoring offences caught on camera, and often incorrectly perceived, whilst someone suffering a crime is likely to be told that nothing was seen.

It's time Joe and Jill Public caught up. We are suffering abuse by officialdom, and those who employ us, to an ever increasing degree. To protect the rights and the privacy of common people we need a Big Sister to keep a watchful eye over Big Brother. The good news is: we have one. The bad news is: we don't support her enough. Her name? Liberty.

Liberty's aim is to secure the equal rights and liberties of all individuals and groups (insofar as they do not infringe the rights of others), and oppose any abuse or excessive use of power by the state against its people. Liberty identifies current issues it considers crucial to the protection of civil liberties and human rights in this country and campaigns - through litigation, media and lobbying - to influence government policy.

The more of us who join this organisation; the more it can and will do for us. Membership isn't found to be expensive by most people, but if it is to you then it matters not - you are still welcome to become involved and to support them without it costing you a penny. There is little use to be found in complaining about any issue if you are not prepared to support those who are fighting for you.

Support Liberty. http://www.liberty-human-rights.org.uk

If you are reading this outside the UK, and many thousands of you do each week, then please check around for your own similar organisations and support them.

Remember, it is usually easier to hold on to a freedom or a right than it is to fight in an attempt to regain it once it has been lost.

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 17/06/06.

Well Darlings,

I must be working too hard. I fell asleep during Question Time and since then have been trying to think of a fitting: "He who burns the candle at both ends . . ." adage, but the only one I've come up with could not possibly be recalled here. Nevertheless I was awake long enough to hear Charles Kennedy being asked about his political future by a member of the audience, to which he replied: "Who knows? The only thing we can all be sure about in politics is you are as well to expect the unexpected." Pushed further, as to whether the Lib-Dems might someday again see him as their party leader, he declined to give a straight answer.

Readers will remember that Charles stepped down from being the Liberal Democrat leader in January - just two days after he publicly admitted he was an alcoholic - and that after a hard-fought leadership election he was succeeded by his deputy Sir Menzies Campbell. It was a messy leadership battle that claimed the immediate political aspirations of Winchester's MP, Mark Oaten, when his affair with a rent boy was exposed, and one which also led to Simon Hughes finally "coming out", despite his many earlier and repeated denials that he was gay. The latter revelation was seen by some to make Simon a hypocrite because of his involvement in the Bermondsey by-election battle way back in 1983 when his Labour opponent, Peter Tatchell, was all but crucified for being homosexual.

Oh yes, I remember it well! In those days many of us were mystified by Simon's actions - by playing it straight, who the hell did Sally think she was deceiving? Certainly not us! But it appears that Peter, now a member of the Green Party, has forgiven Simon for all the nastiness of that time, even going so far as to back him in that leadership challenge - something many Lib-Dems weren't prepared to do following the deception.

But what of Charles Kennedy - could he become leader again? I don't think so. He may have the spirit for it - but there, in that word, lies the trouble. Once an alcoholic; always an alcoholic. There is still no cure for the condition, only treatment - a way to cope with it and survive. Although he could be "dry" for many, many years, and could be commended for that, the threat of a relapse occurring at any time will never leave him - and that is something nobody could tolerate of a political party leader, no matter how slim their chance of becoming the country's Prime Minister.

Charles Kennedy is a good and honourable man; one with much still to offer the Lib-Dems - but he must do that with his finger on the pulse, and never on the button. Which brings me to Gordon Brown and his recent statement that he will keep and renew Britain's independent (?!) nuclear deterrent. What was all that about? This subject is usually taboo in the Labour Party. It's a very hot potato. Whilst they may not want our nuclear capability, they are often forced to accept that we do need to keep it - and they prefer not to talk about the subject lest it open up wounds. So why did Gordon Brown almost "blurt" out his intentions? I didn't see that they were called for, to me they came out of the blue and were hardly likely to help the man's cause, so I'm still trying to work that one out. No doubt it was a tactical move and not some error of judgement - but for what reason? Answers on a postcard please - with my reputation, I open no letters!

It seems to me that our Sun newspaper, if you will allow me to call it that, never misses a chance to prove just how hysterically homophobic it can be. Did you all catch their feature entitled: "Gay Sex Art Gets Tax Cash" at the beginning of the week? To me this article completely ignored the fact that gay people pay taxes too - and often more so than straight people as research has shown we are, on the whole, more highly paid. I saw the story as being written with the intention of provoking a public outrage at an apparent misuse of public money.

But is anybody surprised that the Sun once again got their facts wrong? Or that they haven't printed an apology? Contrary to their article, the Architecture Foundation, which hosted the exhibition, is not funded by the National Lottery and the event, which cost a mere £800 to put on, was not funded out of their Arts Council grant. When it comes to news - that rhymes with views; when it comes to facts - that rhymes with lacks; and when it comes to sun - that rhymes with none. Do you believe in coincidences?

As I write this the EuroPride Festival (16th - 30th June) being held in London this year is about half-way through, with the big Saturday, EuroPride Day, still to come on July 1st. The festival is said to be going well, and the big Saturday promises to be exceptional - but will still be unlikely to match the estimated 2.4 million people who took to the streets of Sao Paulo recently to celebrate the Brazilian city's 10th annual Gay Pride. According to the organisers it's the largest Pride attendance in the world, and I haven't heard anyone arguing that point. Their first Pride, a decade ago, only attracted some 2,000 people.

Blackpool's first Pride, in May this year, was a resounding success too, and it attracted around 6,000 people despite the inclement weather. It was a good number for a first event, and one which will no doubt grow substantially in the coming years. Yes, the good news is Blackpool Pride is back in 2007 and it's likely to become an annual event. Next year it should be bigger and even better as negotiations are already underway in the hope of securing a later weekend in the year for the celebration. May is perhaps a little too early to expect good weather and large attendances. But now we have a goal, don't we? If Sao Paulo can go from 2,000 to 2.4 million in ten years, then what numbers should we be aiming for in ten years with a 6,000 start? I know: it's wishful thinking; just a dream - but what a dream! No, sadly we could never really have that number here on our streets, could we? It would leave no room for the parking attendants!

Last Monday, courtesy of Basil Newby, Funny Girls was host to Blackpool's Post-Pride Party where all those involved, or who supported the event, were treated to a champagne reception, a show, and an excellent free buffet. It was a brilliant night where there were awards given to those involved in the organisation and smooth running of Pride 2006, and where the fundraising for Pride 2007 was launched by holding a successful auction. Several acts appeared (all for free), including Roxy who was as ever notable, and the whole show was expertly compered by Zoe (as ever, too - we only have the best in Blackpool!), who made much of the fact that her spotlight had failed. One act that went down extremely well, and left the audience screaming for more, was the well known drag artiste: Kitty Litter. Later on I particularly liked it when the police, on receiving their award, told us they didn't normally line-dance along the prom - to which someone in the audience remarked: "Well, not sober, anyway!" Priceless!

Although, as I've said, it was a brilliant night, and I thank them sincerely for my invitation - it was much appreciated, I would not be the Bitch you expect me to be were I not to mention that its organisation didn't match the standard of that of the actual Pride event. Parties of guests were being sent to all the wrong destinations, there were more people expecting to be seated than they had seats for them, and at one point no less than His Worship the Mayor was stood with the rest of us on the doorstep with the milk bottles waiting to be invited in. But we forgive them - it was a marvellous affair!

Finally, I'll leave you with something I find truly horrific. Home Office figures show the use of weapons in all types of violent crime is increasing. Even more alarmingly, a survey by Oxfam, Amnesty International, and the International Action Network on Small Arms tells us that more than one in ten Britons have been affected by gun crime or know someone else who has been in the past five years, and that one in six people have seen a gun that they understood to be illegal. And then there are the knives . . . And then there are the terrorists . . .

Don't let anybody try to tell me that crime is no worse today than it was yesterday - or that it's only my "perception" of crime that's suggesting it is!

In my youth I often used guns, I had a lot of fun with them and I became quite a marksman, but I learned to respect them, along with learning to respect people and property. Where did I do all this? I did it at school! Our school, like many, many schools at that time had a cadet force where one chose to be in the army, navy, or air force cadets. Hello, sailor! I chose the navy - what else? We had our own armoury and rifle range, we did training twice a week, we went on field trips, and there was an annual camp to look forward to. It was great fun, the best, but more than that it was character building. What a pity there are so few cadet organisations aligned with our schools today!

My point? If you'd have asked us about illegal guns then, we wouldn't have known what you were talking about. Ask a kid today and the chances are they'll know someone who could sell you one. We all enter this world knowing absolutely nothing. We can only become the sum of what it is we learn. So what the hell has modern society been teaching our children?

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 23/06/06.

Well Darlings,

It's been a strange kind of week, I think. We've had Charles Clarke's scathing attack on Tony Blair - something which many senior Labour figures believe may bring forward the date of the Prime Minister's handover to Gordon Brown. Downing Street, swiftly backed up by the Labour Party chairman Lord Soley, has unsuccessfully tried to dismiss Mr Clarke's criticism of Mr Blair's loss of "purpose and direction" as merely being "sour grapes". I say "unsuccessfully" because it appears to me that there is an overwhelming number of people who share the opinions of Charles Clarke, and who now believe that his attack on Tony Blair might easily be the fatal blow that will end the premiership.

Thinking back over the past nine years I find it somewhat comes as a relief that our Tony has lost his purpose and direction. It seems to me that when he had a purpose and direction that the people agreed with he was rarely able to deliver. But when it was not in accord with the people then he certainly did manage to deliver, didn't he? Against all the odds, and the wishes of the majority of the nations in the world, we became embroiled in a war. A war that to my mind has solved nothing at all. Iraqi frogs farting in the long grass were definitely to be preferred over what we have in that country today.

Yes, we have an issue with terrorists - and rightly so. The world quite simply cannot just sit back and suffer terrorism. But one day historians will question the credibility of how this issue we have with terrorism came to be twisted into a war on Iraq when the enemy we fear is all too often to be found living in our midst and not sat in the sand thousands of miles away. There, under the blazing sun, only sit the farting frogs - those who the more we try to destroy them, the more allies they amount.

Apartheid in South Africa wasn't solved by war, invasion, bombing raids, devastation and a mass killing of its people. It was done by a mixture of incentives, sanctions, and giving good example. It was a long and slow process, but it worked. Likewise, something similar worked with the terrible situation we had in Northern Ireland. Where would we be today had we adopted the policy of "bomb the hell out of them" in either of those two places? And we could have done.

But I fear our Tony is not alone in being without purpose or direction. It is probably wrong of us to single him out. Global warming and all that might mean, no longer to be seen as only a possibility, is now slapping us across the face with gusto. None the more for that, the leaders of the world continue to reaffirm their determination to deal with it, and do very little else even though it may be the wish of the majority of their people. And about a year ago there was a lot of positive talk as Britain and other members of the G8 group of countries promised to boost aid to the poverty-stricken African nations. That too was the wish of the people - a planet-full of people. But sadly today we hear of Geldof and Bono accusing those nations of "welching" on the deal.

Those promises, in both cases, have all too often resulted only in the manipulation of figures. In the latter case, whilst it may be said that some debt has been written off, much of what the people expected - those three billion who watched the Live 8 concerts on TV, and the estimated 1.5 million who attended them, and the more than 30 million who signed up to the text and web petition - just has not materialised.

Not to be seen as a failure - a lot of good has come from Live 8 - the end result can only be seen as a vituperative indictment on those governments involved whose distinct lack of purpose and direction has failed us. "I must, I can, and I will," has become to mean "I should, I could, but I won't - and I'll just hope nobody notices." Spin has become the universal way of governing. What you hear is not what you get. From our local councils right up to our national governments, and now extending to conglomerates of governments, we find that officialdom is not performing to the satisfaction or the expectations of the people. Where will it all end? I don't know. But I know it will end - history has proved that to us time and time again. There will be tears.

Officialdom today, with little sense of purpose or direction, has come to believe its job is simply to make rules for others to follow. It matters not what rules, so long as they restrict the people then they must be good and worthy of a lot of self-congratulation. And if they can make money out their people with a new rule then bonus - they go to the top of the class. I have little doubt that some pompous twit once managed to justify to some other pompous twits the rule where flags flown out of windows, or at an angle, are technically illegal without formal planning permission from the local authority. We're told that since a law was passed in 1992 flags may only be flown without local planning consent if they fly from a vertical pole, and a breach of this regulation could result in a fine of up to £2,500 being imposed. It's an amount of money that must be a temptation to collect for many a council, and it would only take one to go for it, to break the ice, for the punitive action to snowball.

How dare some pompous official twit tell any person how they may or may not fly the flag of the nation of which they are a part, born into or have given allegiance to, and of which they may one day be called upon to die for, as so many have in past and present wars! It is the people who are the nation. The flag is their flag. It belongs to them - not to some bureaucrat. When our people go to war and fight under our flag they are fighting for their Queen and their country. They are not fighting for their government - governments come and go.

Our flag is not the sole property of some idiots in a remote government department - people we technically employ - no matter what they may say, think, or rule. Providing it is done with consideration and safely, how, when, and why different people choose to fly their national flag should be the business of nobody else but them! Quite obviously not everyone can have a vertical flagpole in their garden, nevertheless I believe we should all still have the right to fly both the Union flag and / or the flag of our respective country as and when we please. Should some "flag etiquette" be compromised in doing so, then a little assistance and leeway is called for - not a thumping great fine! If that is not to be the case then I say we should immediately bring all our brave boys and girls home from Iraq and send out there all those pompous official twits who believe they have sole rights over our flag and let them do the fighting! "Ducking the bullets are we Archibald? Just you make sure you keep that ruddy flag vertical, man!"

It's time a few people took a leaf out of some gay philosophy. I am what I am. In my case that means: I am gay. I am proud to be what I was created, and who I am. I am also proud to be both British and English. I am happy to be a part of my sovereign state and to it I pledge my allegiance - but that does not mean that I impart on the government of it the right to impose unnecessary restrictions on any of my rights or freedoms.

Today we have had too many unnecessary restrictions imposed on our born rights and freedoms. Today we are in dire need of a political party with the devout purpose and direction to restore all of those rights and freedoms. Such a party, with such a noble purpose and direction, would find itself easily elected to govern.

To try to take away the right of any citizen to their national flag is to try to take away some of their dignity, their national identity, and one of their accepted rights. The right to peaceable freedom of expression. I grew up in a time when the flags of all our countries came out (and not just the British ones) and happily flew together at the slightest occasion. It wasn't seen as being jingoistic or gung ho, as some will try to tell you. It was seen as being happy to be a part of something - something that mattered to us - and even with all our individual and sometimes varying flags we felt we were a united people. Those flags flew at all angles and from anything we could tie them to - and not a soul objected. So why all this stupidity today?

The law may have been passed and, in our hundreds of thousands, we may be flouting that law as we patriotically honour our national football team's efforts and wish them all good fortune by flying our nation's flag as best we can, but illegal or not the moral high ground remains with the people - the nation. Personally, I question the right of any person to govern me, or any part of my country, if they are not in favour of the people who make up my country being able to display their national identity with pride - whatever that may be. We are a nation made up of people from many and diverse backgrounds - we are diverse - and it's time that those who govern us accepted that and learned exactly what that means instead of merely trotting out the phrase with regularity to look authoritative, but not really having a clue as to what it does mean.

Gay people know all about diversity. We walk the walk. We have always celebrated our differences - our individualities - happy to acknowledge them, to accept them, and to respect them. That's to respect them, darlings - not to restrict them! We know that EVERYBODY has their rights and their freedoms that they hold dear to them. To restrict some of them, perhaps any of them, does nothing towards promoting harmony.

I have rarely seen cause to be ashamed of my nation - the many and diverse people. I have never seen cause to be ashamed of my Queen. But all too frequently I have seen cause to be ashamed of those whom we elect to govern us.

And I am what I am. What are you?

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 1/07/06.

Well Darlings,

Apologies for being later this week - I've been busy. Don't ask!

I see the Bat Conservation Trust will be visiting the Palace of Westminster, home of our parliament, this week to count the bats. I think they'll be busy too. A lot of batty things come out that place, don't they? I guess that could be why chiroptophobia has become so common in Britain. However I didn't realise that another phobia, coulrophobia, was that common until I read the theme for the "Bestival" event on the Isle of Wight in early September this year has had to be changed because so many people have expressed a fear. Perhaps I should have done - we're not short of clowns in this country, are we?

So how have you all been coping with the heatwave? Most of us appear to have enjoyed it, although it has been a little dangerous for the elderly and infirm. Certainly it has produced some gorgeous (in both the old and the may be becoming sense of the word - thank you Sir Ian!) eye candy on the streets of Blackpool - for which this old biddy remains eternally grateful! Nevertheless hot on the heels of the recent report that many of our ambulance services become overstretched during a heatwave comes the news that our fire-fighters are "stretched to breaking point" at these times.

The Fire Brigades Union blame cuts encouraged by the Government and pushed through by local authorities for this alarming situation which can put lives at risk. They say: "UK weather appears to be coming more extreme, varied and unpredictable and the fire and rescue services needs more fire crews," and that they barely have enough resources to cope with the normal number of emergencies, yet more cuts are planned.

Further cuts do seem a bit silly, don't they? But I guess it's all down to those clowns again - falling flat on their faces is one of their trademarks. It's little wonder we have such a fear of them, is it?

We have a well known clown here in Blackpool: Mooky. He's one that we all love and, unlike a lot of clowns these days, he is a great asset; a benefit to our town. Which brings me to the King of Clowns. With Blackpool putting so many hopes on winning the licence for the super-casino, I find all the recent revelations concerning John Prescott being associated with Philip Anschutz, owner of the Anschutz Entertainment Group which took over the running of the Millennium Dome in 2004, a little unnerving. They say there's no such thing as a free meal. Well what about a stay at an American tycoon's Colorado ranch? Does that come free? Or is there a price to pay? Anschutz has long been known to be wanting the government to allow a super-casino in the dome (now called O2) and since 2002 Mr Prescott has had no less than seven meetings with Mr Anschutz, with a further one planned - albeit delayed since all the media interest.

Of course, there could be nothing at all to the people's fears. It may all be above board and pure coincidence. Someone we've come to see as a buffoon, just being a buffoon and not thinking through the consequences of his actions. But with new evidence now emerging which contradicts the assertion by the Government that the Deputy Prime Minister has had "no role" in the government's policy on casinos, it's getting increasing harder to believe that.

Do you believe in coincidences? Could it just be a coincidence that Prescott has also visited the Sydney Star City Casino complex on "official business" in order to "get a feel for what an establishment of that size was like" accompanied by "a government relations officer", when we're told he has had "no role" in the government's policy on casinos? It's a big leap, isn't it? I haven't managed to get my legs that far apart for many a long year!

We're told Blackpool Council bosses will not be joining in the row over Prescott's meetings with the man who wants to build a mega casino in O2. I find that rather apathetic of them. If you really want something, then you should be prepared to go all out to get it. Thankfully there will be others who will be fighting our corner for us. Southend's demands for a full investigation will certainly help us. So too will the Conservative Party's demands.

Hugo Swire MP, the Shadow Secretary of State for Culture, Media & Sport, has said: "The Government must make a full statement to Parliament on the precise role of John Prescott over casinos. It is clear that Prescott has a direct and personal involvement, but despite his stay at the 32,000 acre home of an American billionaire, he did not declare his interests to the Commons. Prescott's wheeling and dealing causes further concern that Labour's determination to relax gambling laws is being driven by big business, not the public interest."

God works in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform. So too does big business!

For all those who believe in coincidence: I wonder which seaside resort will be picked on next for some dramatic earth-shattering and derogatory "exposure"? There's quite a few to choose from as you will see if you visit: http://www.britishresorts.co.uk - so what's the likelihood of it being Blackpool yet again? Hmm . . . There's many on that list I'd find fault with before Blackpool, that's for sure! So isn't it strange that I hear about so few of them? I'd better start believing in coincidences, methinks!

When you want to be the Bride and not the Bridesmaid again, sometimes you have to be prepared to leap around a little to catch the bouquet!

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 8/07/06.

Well Darlings,

According to a recent National Audit Office (NAO) report the National Programme for NHS IT must get buy-in from NHS staff and win the approval of the general public if it is to succeed. The originally estimated £6 billion 10 year project has already slid to around 2 years behind schedule (and that's after only being underway for 2 years!) and in these NHS cash-strapped times there are many who fear the money won't be spent on the implementation and training required that (at present) is estimated to bring the total up to £12.4 billion - although some believe between £20 billion to £30 billion might be more realistic.

In April an open letter from 23 academics to the Commons health committee called for a halt to the project pending an independent assessment of its technical viability, and last month Professor Peter Hutton claimed the contracts signed in 2003 did not buy what doctors wanted. Professor Hutton was the NPfIT (National Programme for IT) chief medical adviser until 2004 and described his time there as: "like being in a juggernaut on the M1 – it didn’t matter where we went as long as we arrived on time."

At present the names of software companies are flying through people's minds faster than they can learn how to spell them. Cerner claim to have signed a contract with Connecting for Health prime contractor Fujitsu Services Ltd to replace IDX Systems as the software supplier in London and southern England. Now, if you're really into all this you will remember that during the initial bidding between 2003 and 2004 Cerner was shut out, being thought to be "out of its weight class against some of the world's biggest IT companies." Anyone now thinking it must have been on the steroids since those days?

To date, in London the software has been installed in only one new NHS trust. Meanwhile in England's East and North East regions, iSoft, the major software subcontractor there, is reported as also facing difficulties with, we're told, "a patchy implementation record." The chief executive of the prime contractor Accenture in the two iSoft regions, Bill Green, says he is watching the iSoft situation closely, and tells us there are "a series of alternatives and we’re prepared to go with those if it becomes necessary." No doubt that will mean even more names to learn how to spell.

Now as if all that turmoil wasn't enough, today we hear the whole idea of a national database is being criticised by doctors, claiming the project will harm patient confidentiality with there being serious issues of security once the 50 million patient records are all stored in such a way. Consultant Michael Foley, a consultant anaesthetist at the James Cook University Hospital in Middlesbrough, is reported as saying: "Workers in hospitals or general practice surgeries might seek inappropriate access to medical records because of curiosity or malice, commercial gain, or simple error. If screens are left on in open areas or passwords compromised, tracing of access for disciplinary purposes would be difficult. If challenged after a breach of security one could argue that data were requested accidentally. I occasionally enter a wrong number into the radiology viewing system and see unwanted images. Such errors are inevitable." He suggests that all the large money being poured into the scheme would be better spent improving patient care. Whoops! Is all this going to turn into: "How to Build a White Elephant in Ten-Plus Years, and in Several Hundred Not-Too-Easy Stages"?

I, personally, wouldn't be too worried about my medical records accidentally being seen by someone in error, although I appreciate there will be many people who would be. On our side of the fence there will be some people in the closet that might fear what those records could reveal, and then there will be those, on both sides of the fence, who won't want their HIV status bandied about. The records will contain many intimate details about people that some will wish to keep very private - things from pregnancies right through to cancers, and including such as past or present treatments for mental health problems.

No, my primary worry is that such a system might be extremely prone to error. Mr Foley admits that he occasionally enters a wrong number and views unwanted material. We all know of the long hours worked in the medical profession, and how often doctors are overtired, don't we? Knowing how easily I make mistakes on the computer when tired, that worries me. At present my doctor knows all about me, and he knows me. If I urgently need medical attention elsewhere in the country they will find my records in association with my doctor's name and the chances of it not being my record turning up are pretty slim. Under the database system where a number will be entered, if that number was entered incorrectly and you were unlucky in having a fairly common name, the odds of treatment being based on a wrong record may not be that great. When we're all heaped in one big pile, I foresee many errors. How often do the DVLC get it wrong? And they don't give blood transfusions!

"Oh, you're not Sole with an R?"

"No, that's not me, doctor. That sounds more like you!"

Mentioning the DVLC has made me think of MOTs. I see doctors may have to undergo a similar system of "roadworthiness" tests soon. In the wake of the Harold Shipman murders, the Government's Chief Medical Officer, Professor Sir Liam Donaldson, has said that doctors may soon have to prove they are safe to practise every five years, with specialists in high risk fields undergoing more extensive testing.

"Good Doctors", the first major review of medical regulation for 30 years, and highly critical of the GMC and medical regulation arrangements, has come up with 44 recommendations to improve matters. One proposal calls for doctors wishing to remain on the register, and therefore able to practise, to regularly renew their licences - with specialist doctors or GPs having to re-certify to stay on the register. In both cases there would be the need to prove fitness to practise, rather than the present system where practising may continue until there is a cause for concern.

It all makes good sense to me - that is providing this MOT is managed better than the one is for vehicles. When you've taken your car to the same garage for two consecutive years, and seen a different mechanic each time, but have been told on both occasions: "It just needs some new trunnions to pass," you get a bit sceptical about the validity of such tests. How many people like our consultant Michael Foley might feel the pressure to keep their mouths shut and to tow the official line in order to pass their test? A new set of trunnions, or even bunions, wouldn't help him much, would it?

This, like the NHS database, might all look good being planned on paper, but in practise . . .?

Moving on. If you've been enjoying all the good weather we've had recently, but have found difficulty sleeping those hot nights, then give a thought to Swindon pensioner, Doris Marsh, whose council flat has averaged 100F (43C) for six years, even in the depths of winter. So hot is it in her apartment that her friends and family refuse to visit her. The heat apparently originates from hot water pipes in the walls and ceiling that pass by on their way to serve the other 89 flats in her block. So far Swindon Council have spent £80,000 trying to remedy the situation, without success.

I'll bet the plans for those flats looked excellent - on paper!

And now I really am taking the proverbial: I had to laugh on seeing the news that 2,618 toilets and urinals destined for the new Wembley stadium - a building with more toilets than any other in the world - have all had to be sent back because they bear the manufacturer's name, Armitage Shanks, and so contravene the stadium's strict non-advertising rules. I'll bet that was a rule that looked good too - on paper. I wonder if it will apply equally to coins of the realm and banknotes? They too are commodities that advertise. They show our monarchy and bear the name of the Bank of England (mostly) - but I bet they'll be used in the stadium. They won't be refused!

Finally, and still on the subject of urinals: I see there's a couple of those Kisses type going cheap from a Dutch branch of McDonalds. This follows an American tourist complaining about them to the company's head office once back home. The mouth-shaped urinals, designed by the Utrecht-based firm: "Bathroom Mania!" were once to be installed at New York's John F Kennedy airport, but following public pressure Virgin Airways was forced to scrap those plans. I wonder how good that idea looked on paper?

Considering the Funny Girl's logo, I reckon Basil should snap them up and install them here. I'm sure they'd feel more at home in Blackpool!

Ouch!

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 14/07/06.

Well Darlings,

The hot weather stayed for another week, I see. Blackpool has sweltered in the heat, and a walk along the prom must have reminded many locals of: "the good old days" when they saw the crowded beaches with so many kids making sandcastles and people splashing about in the sea. The sun has certainly enhanced some of the sights to be seen around the resort too, as thousands of gorgeous hunks and cuties have been parading around the town in clothing leaving little to the imagination.

Unfortunately all this good weather has been a bit of a two-edged sword: we have also been obliged to witness far too many of those with chip-butty bellies and buttocks (US: lardarses) waddling about the place. That which may have had you wary as it struggled and fought under the straining denim jeans, now exposed can be positively terrifying, believe me! Nevertheless, with global warming, and changing climates, such hot weather might soon become more common - and we might be grateful for that shade one day! There's one or two I've got my eye on already for if the sun becomes too unbearable. Strategically placed, I'm quite confident a full solar eclipse could be achieved!

Political correctness? Sweeties, that went out the window the instant those buttocks escaped the jeans!

Which brings me to wonder when John Prescott's political correctness escaped him. The Standards and Privileges Committee have decided that Mr Prescott DID fail in his duty as an MP by not immediately declaring his stay at the ranch of United States billionaire, Philip Anschutz - a man bidding to open a super-casino at the London's Millennium Dome. The findings also said Prescott had effectively admitted breaking the Ministerial Code by accepting hospitality that "might reasonably have been thought likely" to influence his actions.

Nonetheless for being found guilty, Downing Street (which has the sole responsibility for policing the rules) says it will not be taking any action, and it considers the matter closed. Mr Prescott says he has "fully accepted" the report's findings, yet immediately contradicts that by saying he still believes there is "no case to answer". And the Prime Minister's official spokesman tells us the problem has been resolved because the Deputy Prime Minister has now registered both the stay and the gifts!

Yeah, like eleven months later, and then only after being caught out! If political injudiciousness can be put right that easily, then nobody is ever going to fall foul of the system and lose their job, are they? I wonder how many business people being hauled up in front of the tax man this week will wish they could declare something from that long ago as easily and escape justice?

How does all this affect Blackpool's bid for the super-casino? Well, some feel that now so much has come out linking Prescott to the US billionaire (7 meetings, and another in the pipe-line) and with casinos (officially - but quietly - visiting Australia's Sydney Star City Casino) that the government wouldn't dare give the licence to the Millennium Dome. Others think they know the government better than that, and they cite the "no action to be taken against Prescott" as proof that the whole selection thing is a sham, the deal has already been done, and they are going to face it out - just like they did over the reasons for going to war with Iraq. I have to say: I feel that, on past form, the latter would not come as a surprise to many people.

New Labour came to power to the realms of: "Things Can Only Get Better". So why is it that today more and more of the electorate are dancing to the first few lines of Kelly Marie's hit? "My head is in a spin, My feet don't touch the ground, Because you're near to me, My head goes round and round . . ."

Dictionary: Spin - a system of wringing out to dry. Yep, that sounds about right!

I see also going at 1,500 rpm is Gordon Brown's Budget pledge to raise public spending on state schools in line with private schools. The Institute for Fiscal Studies tells us that Mr Brown's claim that the Government is pumping £34 billion of "new" investment into education is not born out by the figures. Quite to the contrary: the level of investment in capital funding for schools is set to slow significantly in the next few years.

And in our wonderfully well managed economy, the one that robs the poor to feed the rich - ask the pensioners, the latest figures reveal that, with the likely rise in interest rates, housing affordability is set to plunge to its worst level for 15 years by the end of 2006. A typical home buyer will have to spend about half of their salary on interest repayments alone - 49.78% to be exact - and that's the highest level since 1991.

More bad news, especially for those looking to buy in the capital, is that despite government policies the Royal Institution of Chartered Surveyors report the gap between house prices in London and the rest of the country is now at the largest ever recorded. We're told London and the South East recorded the sharpest house price rises in six and a half and four years respectively.

And I see an all party committee of peers have criticised the meetings between former Home Secretary Charles Clarke and ministers from the other largest EU states. In March 2006 the G6 Ministers discussed their joint response to terrorism, illegal immigration and organised crime - three things close to many a person's heart - and although important decisions were reached no report was made to Parliament, or any publicity issued by the Home Office.

Lord Wright of Richmond, Chairman of the Committee, is reported as saying: "We are not talking about occasional ministerial meetings. These are regular meetings of the six most powerful member states, at which ministers decide how they want to take forward EU policy on security, justice and home affairs. Parliament and the public, and other EU member states, have a right to be told in detail what has been decided."

Well, yes - I think so too. I would like to know what is being decided on by my government, and therefore in my name. Why all the secrecy? The next meeting is due to take place in October and it will be chaired by our present Home Secretary, John Reid - a man already accused of surrendering our home affairs policy to the tabloids - so perhaps we shall see a change if we shout loud enough.

Hopping over the fence to see what the other side is doing, we might easily be just as dissatisfied. Whilst some might claim Mr Cameron's touchy-feely type of politics may be working for him, and that is still very debatable, there is somewhat a void when we search for his policies. Some of those we do find are not exactly encouraging. He is backing Labour's academies (take the spin away and they are failures) whilst ditching grammar schools (selective they may be, but mighty successful too) which may not go down too well with quite a few in Middle England, and when it comes to crime his "lock-them-all-up" policy becomes confused by his recent "hug-a-hoodie" episode. Are we sure this man is in the right party? He might find he'd be more at home in the Lib-Dems, a place where being on both sides of the fence is quite often the norm!

Looking at politics is sometimes a bit like looking at a baboon, isn't it? 1. It all depends on your view. 2. It has more of an ugly backside than a pretty face.

See you next week . . .

"The Bitch!" 21/07/06.

Well Darlings,

As I write this it does look as if today might be more bearable than many have been in the past few weeks. The sun, which wasn't there this morning when I arose, is threatening to appear through the cloud, but there is a pleasant cool breeze which I feel sure will temper it should it succeed. This year Britain, like Germany and quite a few places around the globe, has experienced the hottest July on record.

Last week I reported on how busy we were here in Blackpool because of the good weather. Since then apparently there has been a television news report aired, one that I unfortunately missed seeing but have been told about so many times for it to become annoying, which I'm assured has put our busy into perspective - and some say into the insignificant category. There have been many British resorts that have almost buckled under the strain of trying to cope with the influx of holidaymakers. In places like the English Riviera, Bournemouth, and Brighton & Hove Actually (you might need to be English to understand that one!) we're told there were times when it was difficult to find a space on the beach or a room for the night. In fact all the southern resorts, and even those to the east like the perhaps somewhat thought languished Yarmouth, Cromer and Hunstanton, have reported being swamped by the rush to the coast, with many of their hotels and B & Bs enjoying being fully booked as people decided to stay on.

Whilst a few refuse to yet believe it, most people who study weather and climate trends are now of the opinion that the heatwave this year, and in time it will become even hotter, is the shape of things to come for Britain. Cornwall has already treated us to pictures of their first cage-diving trips for shark-watching tourists - something normally confined to the likes of Australia. We're told many of our thought to be faded seaside resorts may soon return to see their glory days again, as the world climate changes. As early as 2020 our resorts could become more favourable for sun seekers than those now popular in the Mediterranean basin where, according to the Journal of Sustainable Tourism, some will be too hot in summer, but more pleasant during spring and autumn.

Now you might think that these up to now seen as somewhat fading coastal resorts of ours would welcome the chance of such a revival, mightn't you? And undoubtedly some of them will - but there are many that appear not to want to return to their glory days. They fear being turned into a Costa del Wherever with all that comes with that - the modern high-rise hotel and apartment blocks all along the seafront, and the supporting masses of late-night entertainment venues and eateries. Tourism bosses and local councillors have appeared on television, and written in to the newspapers, complaining their infrastructure couldn't cope - their roads aren't good enough, the rail services are poor (non-existent for some!), and there simply wouldn't be enough food or (especially) water and sewerage provision to sustain such an eventuality.

You can count me in as being totally gob-smacked! Here we have Blackpool, a place which would give its eye teeth to return to its glory days, not even throughout this heatwave achieving saturation point, and then we have some other places that did, almost bursting with their venues running out of drinks, ice creams and food in general, not wanting their visitors - and apparently frightened by them. It's a funny old country we live in, isn't it? Strange! Odd!

I wonder what (just to mention one of many countries) Spain's economy would be like today had their people adopted the policy of: we don't want them here, we haven't got the infrastructure, there's no roads, water, sewerage pipes, or anything else, we can't cope? Most of the places we have flocked to in our millions over the past decades have evolved out of little more than fishing ports - many out of absolutely nothing - yet they have found a way to cope and in Spain, where bureaucracy appears to begin with at least six capital Bs, that was no mean achievement! But they did it, and through doing it on the whole today they undoubtedly enjoy a much better standard of living. I wonder too where our own country would be today had we on discovering North Sea oil complained: the infrastructure isn't good enough - it means all that pipework being laid, all those refineries being built, and all those people being around - we'll never cope with all that!

Those tourism bosses and councillors who wish to live in a museum should try becoming curators - they may be happier! When fortune smiles on us, we should embrace it - not complain about it. Yes, it may be sad that some of our history will disappear as we move on - but not all of it will, and besides today we have the technology to capture what we have forever so that we may look back on it at will. Caves and mud huts were once the des res, but who would want to live like that now?

Blackpool might need to wonder why it didn't fare so well as many other places during the heatwave. It was certainly very hot here, and we have an abundance of attractions that many of those other resorts don't - so being content with the influx we did receive would to me be seen as being complacent - I feel we should have done a lot better, and perhaps need to soul search as to why we didn't. That, of course, doesn't mean trotting out the usual garbage of it'll all be alright in the future, trust in the Masterplan! I wish the Masterplan well, but I have little confidence in it.

Buildings looking like they've come from "Moon City" are nothing new, projects like that have been hawked around since the seventies, but no place before has ever wanted to adopt them as a theme. I'm not at all convinced they'll do a lot for Blackpool. They have a hostile, unwelcoming look about them - like the moon, they lack atmosphere, and a beached whale for a conference centre as a key part of the casino plans might be tempting fate - beached whales don't have a good survival record, and few people will thereafter want to be referred to as a Jonah for an expectation speech that didn't come to bear fruition!

There's such a thing as progress, and there's such a thing as the profane. If we are in the future to have the present climate of the Costas today, and that looks a good probability, then perhaps we should take note of some of those resorts tried and trusted ways. They are many and varied according to the clientele they wish to attract, but they are all to varying degrees mighty successful. Maybe we should pick a theme for a clientele that we mostly agree on, and then build on that rather than risk everything on being pioneers. Perhaps we would be advised to leave the moonwalking to Michael Jackson!

The idea behind the Storm City type of ventures, I like - but care is needed with the architecture! - and ideally we need more than one of them. Three would be good, and with separate themes: one for the families; one for the youthful and exuberant; and one for the more reserved and senior members of society - all built in sizes relevant to their expected quota. The casino and associated conference centre idea (should we get it!) is okay, it will prove beneficial despite having many downsides, but not for anywhere near where they wish to put it.

To my mind the conference centre needs to be well away from the heart of the resort. When your life-blood is the tourist, to block street after street, ban parking, and generally turn an area of the resort almost into a military zone, a no go area, with armed police for several weeks of the year is nothing less than stupid. Rows of armed police don't exactly convey a welcome to our tourists, do they? To put such a place in the very heart of the resort makes about as much sense as sticking a hospice on top of a discotheque!

People having a conference don't need to be near the sea front in order to talk to each other, or anywhere in the town, it is of no benefit to them. Far better to put them just a little inland, perhaps in a park-like environment, a luxury campus, where the delegates' security would be less conspicuous, not affect our tourists, and be far easier to maintain. Should they so wish, they would still be near enough to visit and enjoy the resort after they have done their business for the day.

An update on the weather: the sun was beaten back - it is now raining heavily, although I'm pretty sure we won't be getting any of those spectacular thunder and lightning storms seen down south. Which, also slightly relevant to casinos, gambling, odds and all that, brings me to some useless (?) information before I go: The odds of being hit by lightning are 1 : 3,000,000; the odds of winning the UK lottery jackpot are 1 : 13,983,816; and the odds of winning the Euro jackpot are 1 : 76,275,360. So you see, you are more than four times more likely to be hit by lightning than you are to win the lottery.
We're told a downside to the hot summers to come may be more frequent and spectacular storms. So, how lucky do you feel?

See you next week - keep those fingers crossed!

"The Bitch!" 29/07/06.

Well Darlings,

I've had an eventful couple of weeks! I haven't known whether I was coming or going! The Forces Of Grey (ISBN: 1897312180) has been re-published (it had to be - sales of used copies were going for over $90 - and me not getting a penny!) and the latest book: The Elephant's Nest (ISBN: 1897312172) has been published - so you all go out and buy them now! - and then there was the trip to the dentist on the first Wednesday where I learned how stupid I was to imagine "dis" stood for discolouration and I would probably only be having a clean-up. I still don't know what it stands for, but there was a needle, a lot of drilling, filling, and ripping of the gums resulting in much blood and gore. Nevertheless I must be thankful - at least I have a dentist, there are many in the UK who can't indulge in such pleasure at any cost.

The haircut the next day was a high spot - a high before a low. That came on the Thursday evening when there was a major fire here in Blackpool - one too close for comfort to the Royal Mews. Sitting here bashing away at my next book: The Providence Of Pan, I was struggling to concentrate with the smoke billowing across my window and the noise of all the fire appliances and police vehicles invading the area. Unknown to me, until they turned off the electricity mid-typing, there was a mass evacuation going on. Thankfully my computers survived having their supplies so rudely interrupted, but I was forced to live like a savage with no power for nearly twenty-four hours before I discovered they were okay. However that wasn't the end of it. Following that - and with no warnings whatsoever - over the next week the power went on and off more times than a naughty girl's knickers, hence there was no Bitch column last week.

But talking of coming and going, I've found something that certainly puts my eventful life into perspective: the Marie Stopes International hosted event, organised along with the HIV/AIDS charity The Terrence Higgins Trust, that was expected to attract up to 200 people in Clerkenwell, central London, last week. In reality it only actually managed to muster around fifty participants. However with the winner raising more than £500 for charity it has been hailed a success and plans are already being made for another one next year.

The event was advertised as Europe's first "Masturbate-a-thon" - a sponsored masturbation session - and although it was all a bit of a publicity stunt we were told it was one which they hoped would raise awareness, get people talking about safer sex, masturbation, and help to lift taboos.

Really? Are there any taboos left? I wonder if they really had the time to talk about them? I mean, it was a kind of race, wasn't it? It wasn't exactly time that they had on their hands! And were there any drawbacks? Whoops! No, forget I mentioned that last one!

We're told similar events have been staged in San Francisco for the last six years where they have raised $25,000 (£13,000) for women's health initiatives and HIV prevention, so I guess we can only wish these ventures all good fortune.

When I first read of this event it was our dear departed friend, Kenny Everett, who immediately leapt into my mind: "But Michael! It's all done in the best possible taste!" I feel sure it is. Equally I feel sure that with this as a precedence there will be many a pub and club that will soon be looking to open a back room in a similar vein. Oh, well! It will save on the cost of a flight to Amsterdam, won't it? And anyway who wants to fly these days?

The massive disruption to air travel, and the critical terrorist alerts on both sides of the pond, may already have started to have serious repercussions over here - so we must all hope the intelligence is well-founded this time. Another mistake by the police would lose them any credibility they might still be retaining. Too many people have been affected; too many are talking about the situation for another error to have to be owned up to.

Richard Madeley of Richard & Judy fame - a normally innocuous afternoon television show - kept stressing on the Friday programme that a quarter of the Muslims in our country (24% to be accurate) are known to be sympathetic to the terrorists, and he repeatedly asked: what we were going to do about it? I feel it was a section of the show that could have been better done - and, I see, it is also a part of the show that was prominent by its absence on the part of the Channel 4 website dedicated to the day's programme.

I am totally convinced it was never Richard's intention to provoke anything more than healthy debate, but it came across awkwardly. To some, I fear, it might be seen as provocative - as an excuse for racial and religious hatred. Already there were fears that an overnight arson attack on a mosque in the north west of England might have been be linked with the alleged terrorist plans, so we do need to be extra careful with public dialogue when looking for or discussing solutions to the very serious troubles we endure. A few minutes on a light-hearted afternoon entertainment programme may not be the best place to air views on such matters. There is not the time, and perhaps not the expertise, to debate the subject properly, and too much might depend on just a few throwaway comments.

The fact that 24% of British Muslims are said to hate our guts is a serious issue, and one that must be addressed with some urgency. But unless we want the streets of Britain to resemble those of Afghanistan or Iraq, then we need to address it with the care and the importance it deserves. We are living in an age the likes of which we have not known before - not even during the two world wars - so the solutions to our problems may need to be as equally unprecedented. They may have to include the previously unthinkable - and perhaps we should not fear to go there. It needs a lot of debating.

However I believe any solutions that are sought must not further restrict the freedoms of the British people as a whole. There are many (especially from the indigenous population) who today feel they have become second class citizens in their own country. To go any further in this direction might prove to be extremely dangerous. The British people as a whole, a people now made up of many cultures, are still very much renowned for politely giving way. It is a trait that is often taken advantage of - especially by our governments - but we are also known to bend so far and then no further. There must be many of the opinion we have now reached that point - we have no more that we can give.

Enoch Powell made his famous 'Rivers of Blood' speech in Birmingham on the 20th April 1968. Had the terrorists been successful in murdering our people on such a massive scale with the alleged aircraft bombs then any day now we might easily have seen those rivers to which he alluded. At the time we didn't adopt Mr Powell's severe views on immigration, and many will agree rightly so for mostly he has been proved to be wrong. The multi-racial and multi-cultural society that we have become does, for the overwhelming number of us, work perfectly well. To be British today can mean to come from any of many different origins, and it matters not. However as much as we didn't adopt Enoch's policies, perhaps neither did we pay enough heed to some of his fears. And therein lies the problem.

Through some of the concessions we have made over the years to accommodate the cultures of those who have adopted our country, we have inadvertently allowed in a particularly dangerous type of extreme fundamentalism, one that has taken root. We have given too much leeway for fear of being seen as racist, and the enemy is now within. But we need to remember that our enemy is also the enemy of the 76% of British Muslims that don't hate our guts, for it would kill any of them and theirs as easily as it would any one of us - and it has done so. There is no benefit to be gained by apportioning any of the blame on this section of our society. What we have is of our own making, perhaps our own stupidity, so rather we should be urging and encouraging these people, and we must never forget they are British people, to get it sorted.

Realistically this 76% are the most likely ones with any hope of changing the views of that now substantial minority amongst them - a minority that will be made up of some of their friends and relatives and from which the terrorists whom we fear are being recruited. Should they fail to do this, and we don't all stand shoulder to shoulder as a nation united against acts of terrorism, then our future and perhaps the future of the whole of the western world doesn't bear thinking about.

This is a time for the people of the country to unite; a time for that British spirit to come to the forefront. It is not the time to split into factions. Fighting amongst ourselves will not stop one terrorist action.

Darlings, there will be no column next week - I shall be down south promoting my books - and in September the column may also be interrupted because THEY have finally caught up with me. I have to do jury service!

See you soon . . .

"The Bitch!" 12/08/06.